The Further Adventures of Zombie Spidey!

Postings by Josh Gorfain. Completely Unrated!

Birthday present to all you…

(so, it’s my birthday, so as a tradition I started last year…here’s a bit of something I’ve been working on…a chapter from my novel - this might change down the road, but here’s a bit of it nonetheless)

——-


Getting on the plane and the resultant first-class treatment was a welcome change. Something I definitely could get used to. I settled in and soon a nice older woman sat next to me and thankfully didn’t want to start a conversation; I didn’t think I could have participated in any more social activity that day without pulling a muscle somewhere.

After a few minutes, Mystery-Girl (still haven’t picked up her name, which struck me as slightly funny, but nothing to worry about. I mean, I felt there was no need to get attached to random people you’re never going to see again after a few hours; but I would be remiss if I said it didn’t bother me slightly) popped her head in and smiled at the older woman in the seat next to me. “Hi,” she said as cheery as can be, “would you be so kind as to switch seats with me? My fiancé and I are on our way to LA to visit his dying mother and the mix up at the counter caused us not to be together and he’s kind of a mess at the moment.” She put her hand up in a conspiratorial manner and whispered loudly to the other woman, “he’s a bit of a momma’s boy, but I’d be damned if that didn’t make him all the more lovable.”

The older woman gave me a side glance to which the only thing I could do is sheepishly smile and give a shrug. Something struck an emotional chord with her and she proceeded to vacate the seat. “I’m so sorry! Please, take my seat. It’s no big deal.”

Mystery-girl smiled authentically to her as she proceeded to plop down in the seat next to me and clutch my arm and give it a squeeze. I had to tell myself that this was a fabrication to sell the story; but there was a certain charm to it. I found it difficult not to believe the lie that she told and for a second was sucked into it. Being alone for so long made this difficult, especially when that solitude wasn’t entirely your choice to begin with. I leaned into embrace and enjoyed it probably for a second to long. Mystery-girl saying, “Ok, lover boy, she’s gone, you can let go now,” confirmed it. The illusion was immediately and brutally shattered.

“Sorry, for second there,” I whispered, “I just believed everything you said. Which is weird, because I don’t even know what your name is.” There. I said it; hopefully I can get a name because I’m sure as hell tired of typing “Mystery-girl” every other sentence.

She laughed. It was an honest laugh, as she just caught on to the joke and that it should have been funny ages ago. My isolation, depression and hope something better was making me hold on to the lie she said a bit longer than one would want. “It’s Isobel. I’m sorry for not introducing myself earlier.”

“Tim,” I replied, “though I am sure you’re smart enough to have figured it out.” She quizzically looked at me for a quick second and the she got it. “Yep, from the book.”

Isobel looked a bit embarrassed. “I must be more tired than I thought.”

“Yeah. It kind of sneaks up on you. While I have you at a disadvantage, can I ask you a question?”

“Ha. Sure.”

“When you told that lady about us it felt weird. Like it was true; not like I was believing the lie…like it was the truth. I’m not imagining this, right? I’m not going crazy.”

“Oh that. Hah. You wouldn’t believe me even if I told you.” She looked at me (I did not relent my stare) and sighed. “I bent reality slightly to make it seem like it was the truth and convince her to move seats. Seemed it proved a bit too strong.”

I blinked in disbelief. As absurd as that was, it did make a bit of sense. I mean, it did feel absolutely like the Truth. Isobel looked tired as she rested her head on my shoulder and quickly fell asleep. Soon enough, I did too. Her warmth against me felt like home. Reality, to me still felt, as she said, bent. Perhaps it bent for her as well?

fairylightshowell:

oliviasblogisawesome:

strampunch:

fairytail-angel:

verityglasses:

combthecombel:

pokemon-chick-1personalblog:

strampunch:

mobians-and-emeralds:

coffeeandcursewords:

rootbeersweetheart:

usedtobehmc:

jamesbleach:

onceuponakhaleesi:

luckydreaming:

Are fedoras really that bad?

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YES YES THEY ARE

voidethered:

ask-omnipony:

I don’t really believe this mumbo jumbo

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I mean it’s a goddamn hat.

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Right..?

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The white rose, it symbolizes the unique beauty of all the women who wish not to be with a nice guy such as myse-

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I wonder if this works with other kinds of hat…

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Nothing ventured, nothing gained…

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WHEEEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THAT’S AMORREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Men of Tumblr are my favorite kind of people…

wait, does that mean?

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oh boy…….

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Luckily, this nonsense doesn’t work on girls.

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Observe…

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IT’S GOTTEN BETTER!

This post is immaculate

It can’t be true.

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And it can’t possibly work on motorcycle helmets.

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I must test it.

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Nothing happening so far…

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HOLY SHIT IT WORKS

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What in the world?

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Oh why not? This should be interesting.

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Here we go!

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Were all mad here in Underland!

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What the hell! Never Again!

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… Actually …

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One more time.

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Alright, I gotta try this!

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Can’t be that bad!


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….

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…oh my god…

ask-gmodsfmrocks:

LOL

This just gets better and better

This is one of my favourite things to look at

holy shit this stuff is back

The Gravity Falls one though

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i wonder if it works for flower crowns?

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here goes nothin-

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w HAT THE

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DID I JUST-

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WHAT THE FUCK

This is the best.

(via saraurora1)

bellygangstaboo:
“  It is beyond sad, disgraceful and heartbreaking that she even has to do this.
”
Someone should make t-shirts of this.

bellygangstaboo:

It is beyond sad, disgraceful and heartbreaking that she even has to do this.

Someone should make t-shirts of this.

(via saraurora1)

holahydra:

I need to talk about the fact that Bucky’s still got his right hand 100% free and could be punching Spider Man into next Tuesday already. But he still stood frozen, looking shocked as all fucks and lemme tell you right now that that was not because someone’s managed to block his metal fist because lbr the metal arm was never unstoppable before, especially when super-enhanced/-equipped people are involved – so basically he doesn’t take that punch cus he’s actually just now able to hear the other guy’s voice and it clicks that this is just a fucking k i d

(via mamalazzer)

liartownusa:
“ As You Have Forsaken Jeb, So You Have Forsaken Me: My Curse Shall Lie Upon This Nation for Seven Times Seven Generations by Barbara Bush
”

liartownusa:

As You Have Forsaken Jeb, So You Have Forsaken Me: My Curse Shall Lie Upon This Nation for Seven Times Seven Generations by Barbara Bush

robdelaney:
“ Sad, he deleted his tweet to me. I thought he was funny. I meant no harm.
”
DAMN! Apply cold water to burns.

robdelaney:

Sad, he deleted his tweet to me. I thought he was funny. I meant no harm.

DAMN! Apply cold water to burns.